Yet!

We say we love God,
Yet we put out trust in man.

We say we love God,
Yet we worry about tomorrow.

We say we love God,
Yet we greed for money.

We say we love God,
Yet we fail to pray.

We say we love God,
Yet we lack faith.

We say we love God,
Yet we doubt HIM.

We say we love God,
Yet we do evil.

We say we love God,
Yet we cheat.

We say we love God,
Yet we stand ignored.

We say we love God,
Yet we destroy HIS creation.

But, even after so many hindered yet’s,
God says from above- Yet I love you.

Top 5!

Top 5 lies
5. I’m not drunk.
4. I will call you in sometime.
3. I’m not well.
2. I had bath.
1. I love you.



Top 5 ways to be a hip-hop artist
5. Wear big white sports shoes. Only white.
4. Pierce your ears and wear your mama’s diamond studs.
3. Add a ‘Yaw’, ‘dawg’, ‘shake that girl’ in one sentence twice or thrice.
2. Wear 3 kgs of junk jewellery.
1. Buy a ‘XXL’ t-shirt when your size is ‘S’.


Top 5 ways to get rid of your girlfriend
5. Call her for coffee and don’t show up.
4. Don’t laugh on her jokes.
3. Make her pay the bill- every time.
2. Call her to Virar in the evening by a local train and again don’t show up.
1. Abuse her father.


Top 5 things not to say on a date
5. Waaaaazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaup bitchhhh!
4. How old are you?
3. I can see your bra.
2. See, here’s my nude pic. You want it?
1. Your poonch is bigger than mine.


Top 5 ways to get into a Virar local
5. Get a ferocious dog- probably a Doberman.
4. Grow dreadlocks.
3. Go by handicap coach.
2. Scream Ramesh when the train just comes. 90% will look around even if their name is not Ramesh.
1. “Side! Side! Maachi paaani.”

Heart Gone By!

He sees her again. “Dude what do I do?” asks Vinay to San. San is quick to say, “Go for the kill, dudeeeeee.” The break began and as pre-planned, he ‘accidently’ stands in the path she walks everyday. “Hey, hi”, said Vinay. What triggered this conversation was courtesy Orkut friend request he had sent. After checking his Orkut account at a regular 5min interval for the last 48 hours he was happy to have got thru her friend request. Technically achieved, but the moment of truth was here. Though not on his hands, in his head he had his fingers crossed. Vinay was not sure if she would say a Hi or even recognise him, worst- “Excuse me who are you?” “Hey Hi”, she exclaimed with her bunch of gal-friends as he stood alone, though Vinay had San and Sharon eavesdropping on every word spoken. “I’m good how are you, which class are you in?” asked Vinay in utter innocence. Fact of the matter- he knew which class she was from, which bench she sat on, her gal-friends circle and even had tried to venture and get her roll-number. “I am in the graduation class”, said she. Thought cloud in Vinay’s head- “I know that sweetie, I love you”. Word cloud from Vinay’s mouth, “Oh ok. I’m from the graduation class as well, but from the IT section.” “That’s nice!” she exclaimed. “I gotta go my friends are kind of waiting.” She said to Vinay. Thought cloud in Vinay’s head, “Wish I had a time machine, I wana stop the time, NOW.” Mouth Cloud, “Oh sure. See ya around.” See yeah around- Vinay meant it like he had never meant it before. He turned around and was greeted with a success smile from Sharon and San saying “Which class are you from huh?” followed by a quick laugh. Vinay blushed!

It had been 9months since Vinay has spilled the beans proclaiming his love, just like a sound of a broken record. Despite the numerous fights and petty quarrels they had, Vinay thought they were going well. But, the change was evident amidst the small quarrels. He stood alone now. Really alone. No one was there to even eavesdrop on his conversation. There was no San; no Sharon. As it’s said, some battles have to be fought alone. But some battles refuse to seize. Some battles have to be fought everyday; right from the time you open your eyes till you close them at night or when you breathe your last. This is one battle Vinay has to fight. His weapons were his memories, but sometime his weakness too. His enemy was his friend, his friend was LOVE.


Note: All characters in this post are not fictitious, they are real. Many of them are you, who are reading this post. I don’t know if you are the Vinay in your story, but yeah we all face these situations. Also, this is not an anti-love or love sucks post. Don’t stop falling in love people because just like Vinay 9months or 9 years or 9 decades, it will always keep you happy, in reality or in the memory lane.

I am in LOVE.......

Yes I am in love. Many of my friends must feel I have said this a zillion times, but guys this time it’s different. It happened way back when I was just growing up. I seen her for the first time and I knew this was love. She is the one I want in my life. Her looks, they way she moves, they way she looks- all got me dazzled and dazed. There were times when I used to just think about her. There are times when I just think about her. I can stare at her all day long, as she does the same. That’s the beauty of her. She will never complain, she will never ask for reasons, she will take you where you want to go and be with you all thru your life. She has the power that no one of her genre have, she has the beauty and by the looks I can say just one word- HOT. She is the prettiest, the most pretty one I have ever comes across.
But, things will be difficult or rather are difficult. She is of princess status and I’m a stable boy. She is pricy and I- poor. She is from Bandra- Linking Road and I’m from Bhayandar- Uttan Road. I know this world says you can buy anything with a smile but her step-Uncle wanted cash and I had the smile. It was a mushy Sunday evening and the sun was heading to set and the moon shining bright. Perfect! I could not resist myself, so I went to her house. Her Uncle stood at the entrance and asked me, “Yes?” but I was looking at her, speechless!. She didn’t say a word. Why would she say? She was in a fix. Support me and her Uncle will beat the shit out of me. So, she was forced to support her Uncle who takes care of her everyday. “I want to.....(explicit content in next stanza)”, said I with a shivering mouth. “Sure”, he said. I touched her face. She had the same smile. Her beauty was evident from miles away. She was dark and I a racist, but yet the love was too strong for anything to come between us.
(Explicit Content begins here | Parental advisory text | Above 18 only)
I took her out of the house right in front of her Uncle, but he knew I would get her back safe. I touched her smooth back. She was silent; beautiful indeed. I was determined to ride her. I put it in. She was turned on. She roared like no one of that street. I got onto her; a little more tightly. She roared louder. We went thru the streets. All the while it was the man on top position. She didn’t mind; gentle lover I am. All the men envied me, even the ones committed. I felt her hand; her eyes shone bright. She was looking as beautiful as she could. I didn’t want to stop riding her. Her roaring, my pleasure- this is what life should be! She wanted me to take her home. Times change and it was time to get her back to her Uncle. She didn’t want to go for sure But, what could a stale boy do? I steered her back home, she said No again. Deep inside she cared for me, if I didn’t take her home it would be her step-uncle’s fist and my face. I gave her back; safe and sound. The brightness in here eyes was not there anymore. She was totally turned off. The servants took her to a corner and kept her. Silent she stood as always staring back at me and me at her.
It’s been more than 4 weeks now since I have seen her. I remember her even today. I remember all of it...all of it. I remember the day.........the beautiful day- the first time I took a test-ride of a Royal Enfield 350cc.....(tears drops....).


Moral of the story: Never take a test-ride if you can’t afford a bullet. Falling in love with the bike guaranteed and after effects- suicidal.

Sieze!

A thousand tears flow,
The ocean may be put to shame.

A mother searching for her son,
A sister carrying a charred body of her brother.

A lover standing alone,
A daughter without a father.

A pregnant women with no child,
A proud father with no pride.

A friend just round the corner,
Is he still there or has he disappeared.

Some bodies torn to pieces,
Some breathing without a limb.

Feel this is brutal; feel this is insane,
Look around and stop what we started.

War does not come from above,
They start here and end below.

End war and cries; End what we started,
And let’s start what we never started.

Killing Green!

A world running smoke and sound,
Burning woods and eliminating nature.

Looking like an achievement for mankind,
Infesting the same roots beneath.

Unaware we roar towards development,
Industrialization, chemicals and filth we produce.

Nature begs to save her but we fail to listen,
Her wrath when she unveils, we find it unjust.

We can’t see destruction, we can’t see suffering,
Yet we fail to understand the clear facts in metaphor.

A massive slaughter of nature, uncontrolled massacre,
Turning a blind eye to green and looking for gold.

Gold does fade to black; Green still remains the same.
Knowing the correct but still option for the incorrect.

Redeemers by birth, destroyers as we grow,
Called immature at birth or are we now?

Kaun Dum?

Kaun Dum. I’m sure most of you read this and stopped and said ‘Hai daiyaa’. Yes, we all do it. A taboo word. But, I do remember this word wasn’t used that often unless recently. With the increasing number of condom ad’s one needs to make sure to keep the remote in the hand while watching any family program- even cartoon network. Why?

It was 10:30pm and time for supper, nevertheless, time for Naa Aana Iss Desh Laddoah. (I don’t f**g know how its written! Spell check also does not work). After a lot of protest from my end to watch some better shit, majority decided to stick to Naa….Ladooah. So, the serial started. It was dumb, pre-dick-table, and definitely affected my taste buds. Soon, I was tamed when I realized it was the commercial break. We all had our hands colored with chicken curry and rice. All were glued to the TV even during the commercial break. And then the unthinking able happened.

One guy making out with a girl. Fantastic- just what I wanted to watch, but not with family. But, trust me guys this Moods ad was a boom to me. After all I could blog about it. When the advertisement flashed here are the reactions of my family members-

Dad- Stopped chewing his food. Eyes got bigger than ever. I could feel him saying- “My kids will get spoiled.” Kids aged: 21+. Spoiled?
Mom- Looking at the altar wondering where the world is heading. The end is near.
Elder Sister: Where is the remote? Where is the remote?
Elder Sister 2: Huh? What is this advertisement about?
Calvin: Once more! Once more!

But, my joy was short lived. The ad was over. Everybody was back to their normal mode. But, not for long. Why? Read this- “Kal raat savdhani nahi barti…” ROFL…iPill ad. So an advise for all my conservative family-wala friends. Keep the remote always in hand. You never know what this saas-bahu serials are turning us into. Till the next goof-up, here’s Calvin signing off.