Refuse to Heal!

In this relentless pain,
Suffer to exist; exist to please.

It's ok, it's fine, I've got no wound,
I tell myself with a spear in my chest.

I wonder if this is the way; I despair this trench,
No escape, no route - this is the way.

Ever scar and ever wound,
Comes alive and rekindles to stay.

Loved ones blunt the knife; enemies wait to devour,
I can now barely see who belong to me.

You fail to recognize; We're yours - they say,
Enemies are best; you can see the eyes of hate.

You look at the sky and scream for help,
You know HE can hear; HIS remedy you await.

Patience thrives inside you; provoked, ignored, wounded,
Smile, joy, and laughter- a distant emotion yet to heed.

You need to hold, you can't give-up,
Through every scar and ever gash.

This is the beginning and it has just begun,
It promises to breathe, but refuses to heal.

Another Day!

A new day has dawned,
A new day to rejoice and forget yesterday!

The sun smiles bright, the clouds wait for a hug,
Hold on to those tears, and let hope take over.

Where there are tears,
Let there be glimpses of hope.

Where there is despair,
Faith and inspiration.

You've a bad day?
Hold on! Give HIM a chance.

I continue to rejoice,
With a curve on my face and scars of yesterday!

Don't evade the tears, don't hide the scars,
These scars are what made you - the you are today!

Life will never be fair battle, the storms will reoccur,
Hold on, don't give up, HE stands beside you!

You will not drown; you will not fail!
You will rise above the stars and in the face of joy.

Just let this go by, just the sun drown today,
It'll be out again tomorrow, and life will pedal forward.

Move from your tears, sadness, and despair,
Into peace, hope, faith, and joy!

Life Till Now...

Well, life’s not fair and we all believe it. At some point or the other, both in our personal and professional lives, we’ve felt dejected and rebuked by the people or the situation around. It could be a bitter experience because of family, friends, colleagues, or the very ‘Me’ that’s form each one of us.

In my life, more often than not, it’s always the ‘Me’ that has caused more problems than the ‘You’ that has been around. I don’t own much of a success reputation, but always managed to stay balance with an equal loss and wins history. Having said that, I’m quite a driver when it comes to fulfilling my passion. Be it writing (which occurs suddenly and in an unknown fashion), fixing my Royal Enfield, or even as serious, (some may consider it juvenile) choosing my favorite cake.

My biggest success in life has been friends. I’ve been blessed with amazing friends and I somehow don’t follow a protocol to win folks. I’m mean in the sense that sometimes I’ve kept people far from me who would want to jump into the party and in some occasion have been selfish enough to put up a circus just to win over someone. Whatever may be the case, I’m glad with the bunch of friend I’ve and will always treasure each one of them coz each day you folks make me a better person.

Failures – and trust me I don’t like failing. Failing has taught me more than any mathematical formula or the pinnacle of victory can offer. I’ve failed and in some cases failed miserably in my pursuit of being successfully. At the end, and after each failure, I’ve strongly realized how important it is to fail and the adrenaline of learning from failures is a life-long experience you treasure than the standing on a podium on being successfully. Majority of my failures have sprouted from failed relationships (in most cases the ‘Me’ to be blamed) and my spiritual journey. Both of these have always locked horn when I’ve tried to make my ways through. You can’t escape either of these in life’s journey. On the outside, I may seem like a nice, sorted guy (I’ve documented proof on this one) but when in a relationship, I’m the demon you wouldn’t want in your life. I know when folks read this post, a lot of girls are going to shun me, but the truth be told, what you get is what you read. I do try to be good in a relationship, but there have been times where can be a total wreck. Having said that, I would love to be with someone and someday see myself as committed and achieve at least a close 90% success (because 100% is for mortals) in a relationship.

Another part of my struggle has been (and I believe will always be) is my spiritual self. I’m a roman catholic, who comes from a very strict and religious family, but the LORD has been training me (that’s what I feel from the heart) on how to be a better catholic. Although I believe in a lot of fundamental rules and protocols needs to be held intact in your journey of faith, but to be honest, I’ve questioned some of their pre-defined prayer booklets and prayer directions given by priests. I wouldn’t suggest that this is more of a rebellious call, but what I want to point out (and I strongly believe) is we cannot have a one-size fits all arrangement in faith. After all Moses found GOD in a burning tree, Zacchaeus when clinging on to a tree, Mary Magdalene found GOD when caught in adultery and I found HIM in music. I hope and pray (and urge you readers to pray too, in your own way) that each day we’ll get closer to HIM and experience him in our daily chores – be it watching TV, on the internet, or simply while having cake.

Well, now that I’ve spoken my mind out, I want to congratulate and thank all you folks who made it to this final paragraph. After all, reading is a much tedious task then writing.

P.S: Wanna be writer, graphic artist, Iron Maiden drummer – Cal Vin!

At Three | End at Four

The darker day,
The darkest the night.

The sadness descends,
Anyone watching my plight?

My mind wanders,
Looks for question unanswered.

They remain stagnant,
And welcome the darkness.

Trying to refrain,
With thunderous energy spent.

Not the body,
But purely the mind.

A battle unseen,
Smile on the outside.

The storm begins,
The piercing light approaches.

Darkness I prefer,
The light I need.

And this battle,
Beneath will it subside.

He

The shaken spirit; harden through the ashes of the innocent,
Released into a World of perfection, or is it?

The World that pushed him into the alley of sorrow,
Numb to the core, he walks with feet on floor and a heart of stone.

Revenge of a torn flesh and scares of a strengthen heart, now begs for silence,
The silence - his poison and his antidote.

Convicted a murdered, but born a son,
These tears won’t dry soon, these wounds refute to heal.

Money, sloth and greed, they chose him as a prey,
With smiles on their faces, crosses around their necks, they hid the knife against their backs.

The night he fails to forget,
Innocent blood on innocent hands.

Law blinded by evidence; evil wins, blameless victim takes shape.
His spirit now shaken, but will it ever break?

Today he stands alone in what is defined as freedom,
He rebukes it, his innocence is his freedom.

His freedom lies now in murdering the lies.
His freedom lies in embracing his innocence,
His freedom lies in closing his eyes to the denunciations of the World.

A World that defines how freedom is,
A World that appreciates the power of the greedy and shuns the innocent.


Inspired write-up listening to the song A Martian Winter. This post speaks about how a son is wrongly convicted in murdering his widowed mother by his family. Today, he is released from the prison; he rejects the World's perception about freedom and all he thirsts and clings on is to his innocence - perceived as self-righteous innocence by the World!

Sacrifice

I always wondered - GOD why would you want me to give up something I like?
GOD does it really please YOU to see me give what I like?

I thought about it and there was no answer,
I prayed for it, but all looked in vain.

I never thought GOD could be so mean,the ever-loving GOD,
I complained and frankly even skipped my prayers in disbelief.

My probing mind kept drifting away from GOD,
Like a child, I was angry with my FATHER.

Just than came my kid; the apple of my eye,
Her smile so bright; her face my sunshine.

She came to tell me she loved the cupcakes I'd got,
I'd given her with all my love, the best - the very best.

She said, "Daddy, thank you for the cupcakes, if it wasn't for you, I would never relish them."
"I can't buy you any...", she said. "But I've tried doing something very special."

Just then she opened her tightly held fist,
A golden wrapper peeped, and smiled back at me.

Thought she relished some of them, my angel saved one for me,
Her mouth still watered, but my joy was more important, a sacrifice she wished to make me see smile.

A sacrifice she made; it made me cry and smile at the same time,
I thanked GOD for this day; I looked at the crucifix.

GOD had answered my prayer, HE has spoken through HIS child,
HE spoke through my daughter, the angel that sacrificed the cupcake I gave her.

I realized how it feels to be the one at the receiving end of a sacrifice,
It gave me joy, it made me smile, it made me love, it answered my prayer.

AMEN!

Rise Today!

Moments of loneliness
You feel the breath of darkness surround you…
You will rise to fight; you will not fail
Arise to a better tomorrow, an assured brighter day…
All your tears will dry, all the sadness will fade
You will live, and smile again…
You cannot let this darkness win
You are almost there; it appears to turn grey…
Hold on, hold on, the ALMIGHTY stands
HIS strength will light you up…
And then you will fly again
Where the eagles soars, you will roar on those summits…
Rely on hope, rely on the peace.
You feel that you search the light
It’s now the light that searches you…
Stand still, hold on to yourself
You have made it, you have nearly won this impossible battle
Don’t give up now, you will conquer this storm and rise!