What's Your Name?

The characters in this post are not fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely non-coincidental.

Hello folks. It’s been a while I have blogged, but I’m back again to share yet another goof-up. This has happened last year in the month of November. It was a time when I was looking for a break in Instructional Designing. And yes, dad there exists something called Instructional Designing. LOL.

It was morning 10am and I had to head for an interview to a company. Around 11am, armed with my resume, a blue cello techno tip pen, bag (more of a bag pack), blessings of my mommy and my dad still wondering what the hell is my son talking about I took the 11:10 am train from my place; Bhayandar. Around 12:00pm I reached andheri and after a battle with the rickshaw-wala’s I finally managed to get a rick for Seepz. I reached the venue as decided without any delay. I was made to go thru and hour long test and then made to further wait. It was the conference room of the company and along with me sat a girl. From her face I could make out she was a victim of the over-educated and unemployed phenomenon. She looked cute and on the qualification front she had definitely kicked my ass (an MCA grad). So, after a long unwanted silence I decided to speak. “Hi, what’s your name I asked?” She said, “ ”. You readers must be wondering why the blank space? Because the moment she said it, it was directly proportional to my 7seconds delay in the memory buffer of my head. In aam janta, language, I forgot. Yes, the very moment she said it. I don’t know how but I forgot. After a good 10-15 minutes there came a sentence where I had to take her name. Now, here’s the solution if it was a guy. If I don’t know a guys name, I substitute with DUDE. Even shove the word instead of repeating the guys name ova and ova again. I know the female word for the word Dude, but I can’t use it. It’s too freaking odd. What do I do? 3seconds had passed and it’s quite a delay if you are in a continuous conversation. I looked at her body language, her dressing sense, her accent and all I said was Aarti. I don’t know why, but that’s what my head told my tongue to say. And immediately I was like, “I’m a jackass”. For all those who wanted to call me a jackass, don’t get happy, Read the f**kin whole thing.

After answering a few questions from Aarti, (Still wondering why I’m addressing her that? Keep reading.) I was really petrified and wanted to know her real name. All this while thou I made sure I pronounced Aarti at a decibel lower than the other words of the sentence. Then came the HR coordinator and looking at me she asked Aarti. I still could not figure out why she called me by a chick’s name but I was even more petrified when she said Aarti. She must know her name. I was sure; she had her resume. Aarti your test is over and we will give you a call and get back to you. I was like, WTF? Her real name is Aarti? I could not believe my ears. I was really wondering if it was my ear buds that were slipping away. No, her real name was Aarti. It was such a delight to guess the right name of the chick. I really felt I was in the wrong field because I could be in the “Tell your furture” business and guess people’s name by just looking at them. See! But on a serious note it was an experience I will never forget. Now, the problem is I have forgotten her face but I know her name. The situation is reversed. But not to worry, I know the peoples name by just looking at them, don’t I?

8 Idiots....

[Start: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Saari umar hum coding try kartey rhey gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa…..

[End: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

(Guitar intro)

Saaari umar hum coding try kartey reh gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa. (x2)

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

Give me some thanda, give me some chai,
Give me another time-pass, coding fucked me once again. (x3)

[Start: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Papa ney career scope ka lalach dikhaya.
Bsc (IT) choose karkey saala mistake kar dala,

Joel Julian ney pada coding,
Uska kehna tha- coding is scoring.

Notepad mein padha C, C++, C-Sharp, Java.
Object Oriented programming ney pooora……poora booch mar dala.

[End: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Salary tho fuck all, appraisal bhi gaya,
Aaj bhi code, compile nahi ho paya. (x2)

[Guitar Lead]
[Piano Lead]

Saari umar hum coding try kartey rhey gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa…..

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

Give me some thanda, give me some chai,
Give me another time-pass, coding fucked me once again. (x3)

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

6:22

As the number suggests, this post is totally dedicated to the time where I had the best days of my lives. Killing the rules of English, I would rephrase it as the BESTEST days of my life. No prizes for guesses I’m talking about the college days of my life. It was after 2 long years I headed for my morning 6:22am local from Bhayandar. My dad was off to Mangalore for around 15 days. Due to dad’s knee problems, I had the task of being the “boodhapey ka chaa-deeh” for my dad. (Hope my dad does not read this, bahut swabhimani hai). It was 19th January, 2010 a Tuesday when I could relive the same moments, the same feelings come back to me like a bullet to the chest.

I remembered the chaos every morning as my sister and I had head strong clashes getting ready to catch the local. Whether it was for tea, breakfast, change for the rickshaw we fought it all. Now, it was just me and my dad getting ready. No clashes, no fights, no tease laughters. Man, how I miss those days! It was 6:00am in the morning as dad and I headed for the rick to the station. Usually during the flashback days, I used to be pretty reluctant to be awake as half my journey to the station was with closed eyes, but this time around I was enjoying every moment of the dark morning. Reliving it, truly reliving it.

We reached the station and looking like ghar ka raamu(no regrets) I headed to the platform where the 6:22am local halts. As I stood with my dad I saw students running for the train, some on the phone, some with their books, and some with big bags. I got into the usual compartment of my reliving days. There was no Stefan, no Sanjhot, no Elton or Chandresh. There wasn’t any Anil jumping into the train and speaking about how he kicked some Uncle’s ass as he got into the train. There was no Elton yelling at Anil’s comment- “Tera Baap”. There was no Lawzza waiting at Bandra. It was a moment where I realized things had changed. The whole scene was different; there were all new faces. I was missing my laughter sessions every morning. I was missing my college days. As the train came to Andheri, I helped my dad again to the airport with the bags. After a quick father-son handshake and good wishes, dad was off for Mangalore. I was alone as I headed back home. As I got into the train, I felt I had really relived my college days. Alone thou it was a journey I would never forget. The journey of 6:22.

Disclaimer: Sorry guys for stealing your copyrighted photographs.

Soap Opera - Mass Murder!

The new year has begun, but some things refused to change. Sometimes I feel the reason why we are still a developing country is because of this soap operas. Kitna bullshit re baba….kitna bullshit. At my place since its female dominated area, 1 ma do bahen (Sounds like a new show huh), ek baap ek calvin (another show), the majority is females. Apart from soft toys, flowers and men without beard (My goattie is no more :'() they also like…soap operas.
All who have the same family structure (like mine) or have really macho dominating mothers (not like mine) will understand what I’m talking about. Soap operas. I wonder what the female brain is made of. There is so much crying, so much of it in those serials, I feel suicidal. But, survival has also been a challenge so we all have to stand by it. However, here are the top 10 elements every Soap Opera has:-
1. Dada sa is above 100 years of age, but the reaper isn’t touching her. Problem for the ghar: Jaidath blocked.
2. Bhabhi ke peth main kisi aur ka bachaa: With a family spread out over 100 acres of land its quite a difficult task to find out bachey ka baap kaun. Again, searching crisis.
3. Shaadi in the family but dulhan loves somebody else: Wedding plans going on but dulhan has got some other plans. Naughty!
4. Maa baap ke bech darar: There is lot of tension between the parents. Kid doesn’t know what the hell is going on. The kid cannot connect to it. Reason? see point 2.
5. Tea never gets cold: If a tea session starts with some heavy duty family problem discussion the same goes on for two weeks. Wonder what the tea is made of? Wagh Bakri Chai?
6. Slow motion: Most of things happen in saas-bahu wala houses occur in slow motion. Effect, show goes for more than 100 episodes.
7. Background sounds: Just when the slow motion begins, so does the background sounds displaying awkward images of each family member, thrice.
8. Generation leap: When the tea starts to get cold…bang- Generation Leap.
9. Never say die: Whether its accident, shot at sight or a person going missing he/she will always be back when its better half is married and pregnant with the current better half’s child…SIGH!
10. Saint vs demon: Always the central theme. Calvin third law of soap opera: With ever saint in the family there is always a demon directly proportional to it.

Well, I was planning on writing another 10 but I realized that may kill my readers. So, aaj key liyeh itna hii. On ther other hand nice tv serials were stopped like Shakitman, Raja aur Rancho etc. Luckily CID is still going on- ‘Daya Darwaza tood doh’. Also, presenting some soap opera names- readers discretion is advised:-

1. Bhagyawidhata (Do not google it, computer crashes)
2. Naah aana is desh ladoo (Agreed, India is highly populated)
3. Agley janam mein mohay betiya hi keejooo (Damn! I thought sirf is jaman mein bhogatna padega)
4. Karol Bagh (Shouldn’t it be Carol?)
5. Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thee (Like we never knew….)

To add to our masculine misery there are advertisements followed which are like:-
1. Kal raat savdhani nahi barti (iPill)
2. Damn damam dam dam (Dove…)
3. Olay (My skin is aging….we don’t give a rat’s ass for that)
4. Toilet cleaner…(Always come when you are having your dinner or lunch, khaney ka maazza aa gaya)
5. Moods (Condom advertisement when the whole Indian family is around…embarrassing?)

So people I’m really fed up of soap operas…someone get back our old Shaktiman back or at least Raja aur rancho. If that looks tuff Mukesh Khanna’s Marshall will also do. But, jokes apart, we really need some good entertainment- good laugh with a family story always welcomed. Looking for 2010 to bring in some of that. Jai ho!

2009 = Rolla-coster

Another year gone by but life continues to move. Looking back in time for the year 2009, I must say it has been one hell of a rollercoaster. Ups and down, joys and sorrows, laughs and regrets. Snapshots attached. The year started off on a great note but kind of went slipping away towards the end. But, all in all no worries, a great experience.


The year 2009 started off with my failure in CET. Phewww! Who passes that anyways? After some serious kickass mathematical calculation I didn’t make it. No issues, 2010 CET here I come. Then, came a great change that looked great. Change in job. A big lesson was learnt by me this year. Folks, you must have heard this a million times, but trust me on this one, “All that glitters is not gold.” After leaving a job at an MNC and getting through a small firm for good bucks, things didn’t really work out there. Probably, lack of judgment from my end or in other words, the imperfect timing. All in all- disastrous end. Wonder when’s the new start, year 2010 I’m counting on you.



Folks, you must be really wondering- Dude, where are the ups? The joys? The laughs? I guess, the pics speak out loud but yeah, there were instances where I could not stop living life to the fullest. Worked out in a gym for 9 months. Managed to get an average physique but now put on a little holiday weight. A little- I stress on it guys ;P~. Started my blog, went a couple of freinds weddings, made some amazing friend this year. Some bonds just got stronger. Not to forget to mention, some friends even made it to the “I Care” territory of Calvin’s buddy list. Names, here you go:-
1. The Directi Gang
4. The Patni Lunch Gang
5. The L10 Gang
6. My College Mafia ;)~

Hope I haven’t missed any. Yeah, even reconciled with my friend Rochelle. It nice to always say- F**k it re, whatsup buddy! Really felt light when I let all the aggression and a partial ego go off me. Got my 5th piercing done and feels great. However, that’s the end of it. Planning to get my bike, probably a Royal Enfield if cost constraints permit. Have been planning from 2008. Year 2010 you better be good.


Found my real interest and passion professionally- Instructional Designing. Apart from good moolah, this job comes with creativity, responsibility, and the greed to pass knowledge and information. What else can Calvin ask for? Looking forward to get a break thou. I know it’s just around the corner. (Biting nails). Even planning to be VJ, the other passion. Kismat counting Boss!

For the funny moments, went on a couple of dates, the end you must have guessed by now, Still Single. No regrets about that thou. But had some hilarious moments. Can’t reveal the details guys, you gotta respect your dates. Again some dates turned out to be in the buddy list. Nice!

All in all a great year to end, because:-

“The end of something is the beginning of something…..”

Why?

It’s was 10:00 am. Nathan got up. He was really wondering for what. It had been a month he was out of work. Every day was like a million years to live. He was frustrated. Every day Nathan used to make sure he went for long walk in the evening, alone! He had a pretty good share of saving from his previous two work places but he knew the evident, they were on the path of depletion.

A grueling Tuesday came again. As all his friends left for work Nathan cursed joining his new company which rendered him unemployed. Call it his bad luck, destiny, or lack of training guidance; the fact was there was only one suffering- Nathan. He used to complain to himself, curse himself, calculate and re-calculate his decision to join this new company. All the day was spent in looking outside the window, watching entertainment on the computer, applying for jobs; but all in vain, the good had yet to happen. To add to his misery his parents didn’t connect well. Conflicts were a part and parcel of their daily life. Nathan got another reason to crib about.

It was evening and Nathan began his walk. It was Creed playing what this life is for. Nathan could really connect to it. He walked slowly but with every beat his anger without a cause just lit stronger. He walked aimlessly, probably that was his choice to release his frustration. He would look upset whoever he saw people shopping, couples walking hand in hand, or even people around him happy. Despite being regular to church, he was turning into a monster he could not control.

“Nathan, where are you? Please come back home”, said his mother in the sweetest tone possible. Nathan was like, whatever. But, he had to go home after all dinner is served back home. It was 9:15 as he retired home after smoking a heavy dose of 4 cigarettes. He walked home cursing the day.

As he walked home, Nathan saw something unusual. He saw a poor old man holding a child in his arms. The child was crippled. She could hardly move without the helping hands of her grandpa. He held her like an angel in his hands. Her eyes twisted and so was her head. Her eyes looked up to the sky without reason. Her grandpa sang her a song. She smiled often as she heard her grandpa whistle to her. Her grandpa repeatedly tapped her on her crippled back. It sounded like, “I’m there my child.”

Nathan was taken aback by this picture. Tears flooded his eyes. He realized how difficult the life must be for the unfortunate grandpa and her lifeless granddaughter. It was much worst than the situation Nathan was in. But, yet they were in a better situation. The difference was the grandpa was happy. He never cribbed about his situation. Rather he made sure he helped the child to smile thru her tough destined life. Nathan knew some day he would get a job and move on. But, the child had a destined future. A future full of troubles and an ocean of difficult battles to be conquered. The phase that the grandpa-granddaughter was not easy but they lived every moment like today was the last day. There was a change brought about in Nathan. He could understand the mysterious solution God showed him. It showed him how lucky he was. He had all the physical abilities. He had a delicious dinner for him waiting at home. He had a dad who cared about him, a mom who would always be there with him and two sisters who always made sure he smiled. He had an army of friends who would make him laugh constantly. Nathan quickly reached for the cross in his pocket he carried. He thanked God for every moment and decided to stop cribbing, gradually thou. The question if Nathan would get a job or not stood unanswered, but there was answer to Nathan depressing attitude. Smiling thru troubles kept him happy.

We may all face troubles and difficulties in all that we do. But, that’s what this life is all about. Fighting them and conquering them is the best option we have. We may have other options just like the earlier phase Nathan choose. Life is all about the choices, so whoever you are, deciding to be sad or unhappy it’s the choice you make. Bitter situation will always arise so ask the Lord for strong shoulders rather than a lighter cross.

P.S: The Nathan was none other than Me.

Book Review - Unleash The Warrior Within

Reading is one of the most crucial and critical aspects of communication. It helps in effective speaking, writing, and also listening. We all read for various purposes; sometimes for fun (comics), sometimes for studies (the normal text-books), and sometimes for genuine interest (programming books, novels). Whatever may be the reason, reading definitely stands out upfront in the communication scenario.

As an avid reader, I have read a couple of book but I still do go by the page count of the books. Keeping it honest, my interest lies in picture stories and inspirational books. Recently, I had an opportunity to visit a book exhibition in Mumbai. The exhibition helped me to across one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. The name of the book is ‘Unleash the Warrior Within’ written by Richard J. Machowicz. About the author, Richard is an ex-navy seal officer and currently runs a fitness and training center called ‘Bukido’ in the U.S. I was really skeptical when I first seen this book. But, trust me on this one; the book has some of the most interesting topics about combat and how to apply them in our day-to-day life.

The book goes on to tell how the author, Richard, faced different challenges during his navy seal training. The best part is when the author tries to relate the aspects of combat training in real life. He explains how these training ground rules can be applied to our regular life when faced with difficult situations. I could not help myself from mentioning some of chapters, namely:-
1. Crush the enemy called ‘Fear’
2. Create an Action-Mind set
3. Guarantee the Win, etc

The book tells you how to live life to the fullest and teaches you Constructivism. Constructivism is an art that teaches you to problem-solve in ambiguous situations. Complex right? But, the author has made sure that all these complex components are put down in simple English, thus not only focusing on the pro’s at reading but also provides confidence and the urge to read to novice readers. Also, one of the best practices of the book is, that the author has provided a guide-book kind write up to face negatives of life, like Fear, Failure, etc.. Apart from the guide book strategy, the author has made sure that its not fictions. Putting it in simple word, he has given real-life examples for each of the topics. The detailing given to constructivist strategies is really commendable. The best part of ‘Unleash the Warrior Within’ is that every individual can apply and relate every chapter, every lesson, and every word read to his/her own life.

To summaries, this book may not have created history worldwide, but if you ask me, it has definitely been a ‘historic-read’ for me. I would also like to advise beginner’s and the pro's to read this book as it helps you to apply every page of information read in your practical life. Icing on the cake, the language is simple and easy to read. To end it, I must say, Richard does really help you to ‘Unleash the Warrior Within’. In one word, ‘AWESOME’.