HIM and I

Watching the moon,
Stars shine bright.

The darkness present,
The light stronger thou.

I’m a sinner, a destroyer,
But the Lord above shows His mercy.

The light in the darkness,
Displays His impartial love.

I have a friend,
I have a Savior.

A sacrifice so clear,
A sacrifice that cannot be compared.

A sacrifice a Father made,
A Son for His people, a son for a Mother.

On the cross hangs a Man,
Heavy with the sins of the world.

A journey that will live for ages,
A journey that washed me clean.

Can’t predict the future, the past was cruel,
But, the cross radiates His power.

I’m not a saint, I’m not a sinner,
Jesus, please accept me a slave.

Superheroes!

Superheroes?
Wondered the other day,

Walked a distance to find myself,
To solve this mystery I walked the streets…

As I walked down,
I seen a father taking his child to meet his grandpa…

As I walked down,
I seen a guy taking roses for his love….

As I walked down,
I seen a guy sharing his food with a stranger….

As I walked down,
I seen a friend cheer his pal to make him smile….

As I walked down,
I seen a mother rushing to get into the train to meet her kid….

As I walked down,
I saw a rich man giving alms to a beggar….

As I walked down,
I seen a stranger guiding another to a destination…..

As I walked down,
I seen a sister buying her brother a birthday gift….

As I walked down,
I seen a brother reconcile with his brother…

As I walked down,
I seen a guy heading for his first day at work…

I returned home,
I stayed and thought about the thought….

Superheroes? I said to myself……
Indeed they exist.

Aag!

Hey people, this is yet another fun post I could not stop myself from writing. This is all about how movies were in the 90’s. Recently, I got a wonderful opportunity to go to Baroda to conduct a training session. After a day long session, I headed to the hotel for some rest. This is where this post begins. Garam panni sey nahaney key baad, I switched on for some entertainment. Source: apna purana TV. After channel surfing and watching Aasta pey baba ka prawachan and PTC Punjabi pey thoda bhangra, I decided to settle for some prolonged entertainment.

Set Max, 90’s movie print, Govinda and Sonali Bendre. What else could I ask for? I knew I was in for some great entertainment. I became sure when the villain of the movie was Shakti Kapoor, (Aooooohhhhh!). Thou I started watching the movies half way thru, I could gauge what was happening. Hero ki ek behen, heroine ka ek bhai, ek corrupt horny inspector; no prizes for guessing apna Shakti Kapoor. Instead of describing the entire movie, I’ll tell you about a song fromm the movie.


Govinda whose name is Raju (How innovative!), Bendre whose name is Paroooo (ha ha ha ha), is liked by the lustful eyes of Shakti Kapoor (Surya Dev Singh). Bendre has an evil mama (uncle) who is called Mama through out the movie. He hates Bendre and her brother who is now dead. Confused? Me too yaar. So the scene is Bendre brother is dead and her Uncle is not supportive about taking the body home. Still wondering about the song where it can be placed? Keep reading, keep reading. He wants the morgue authorities to burn the body in the electricity ka bhatti. I was like WTF? Abey tu kya pagal ho gaya hai kya. But, with no time to waste, apna Raju lands at the morgue. Why? He has to save somebody who is already dead. But, apna Raju saves the day. He takes the body and Bendre too. Waaah! Macho haan.



Day 2. Shakti Kapoor is all pissed off with Govinda saving Bendre. But, Shakti Kapoor ek rapist hi nahi bakey ek corrupt police inspector bhi hai. So, all alone he reaches where apna Govinda and Bendre. Apna local couple studies in the same college. When Shakti is dragging Bendre, Boom! Raju all dressed in checked shirt, which has a purple t-shirt and a bunch of pals with mullets and high-rise pants and white Action sports shoes shows up. He pulls Paroo towards himself and Shakti Kapoor kay ahkoon key samney Paroo smooches, I repeat smooches Raju. Lucky little ba****d.

Can you guess what happens next? Song! Song! I was like ha ha ha ha ha. Abey ha ha ha ha. This was an extreme case scenario. Achanak song chalo. The lyrics go something like, “Jab majnoo merrey saath, tho bech mein kya karega karela?” Ha ha ha. The whole fuc**in song has such euphemistic statements. To add on, Raju’s mullet-ted friends danced all thru the song and backed him in mocking Shakti Kapoor. The whole sequence was so funny; I could not stop my ass of. To end this post, I must say, Govinda is the best. Reason he managed to get me hooked to the movie for more than half of it. Too good Raju.

What's Your Name?

The characters in this post are not fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely non-coincidental.

Hello folks. It’s been a while I have blogged, but I’m back again to share yet another goof-up. This has happened last year in the month of November. It was a time when I was looking for a break in Instructional Designing. And yes, dad there exists something called Instructional Designing. LOL.

It was morning 10am and I had to head for an interview to a company. Around 11am, armed with my resume, a blue cello techno tip pen, bag (more of a bag pack), blessings of my mommy and my dad still wondering what the hell is my son talking about I took the 11:10 am train from my place; Bhayandar. Around 12:00pm I reached andheri and after a battle with the rickshaw-wala’s I finally managed to get a rick for Seepz. I reached the venue as decided without any delay. I was made to go thru and hour long test and then made to further wait. It was the conference room of the company and along with me sat a girl. From her face I could make out she was a victim of the over-educated and unemployed phenomenon. She looked cute and on the qualification front she had definitely kicked my ass (an MCA grad). So, after a long unwanted silence I decided to speak. “Hi, what’s your name I asked?” She said, “ ”. You readers must be wondering why the blank space? Because the moment she said it, it was directly proportional to my 7seconds delay in the memory buffer of my head. In aam janta, language, I forgot. Yes, the very moment she said it. I don’t know how but I forgot. After a good 10-15 minutes there came a sentence where I had to take her name. Now, here’s the solution if it was a guy. If I don’t know a guys name, I substitute with DUDE. Even shove the word instead of repeating the guys name ova and ova again. I know the female word for the word Dude, but I can’t use it. It’s too freaking odd. What do I do? 3seconds had passed and it’s quite a delay if you are in a continuous conversation. I looked at her body language, her dressing sense, her accent and all I said was Aarti. I don’t know why, but that’s what my head told my tongue to say. And immediately I was like, “I’m a jackass”. For all those who wanted to call me a jackass, don’t get happy, Read the f**kin whole thing.

After answering a few questions from Aarti, (Still wondering why I’m addressing her that? Keep reading.) I was really petrified and wanted to know her real name. All this while thou I made sure I pronounced Aarti at a decibel lower than the other words of the sentence. Then came the HR coordinator and looking at me she asked Aarti. I still could not figure out why she called me by a chick’s name but I was even more petrified when she said Aarti. She must know her name. I was sure; she had her resume. Aarti your test is over and we will give you a call and get back to you. I was like, WTF? Her real name is Aarti? I could not believe my ears. I was really wondering if it was my ear buds that were slipping away. No, her real name was Aarti. It was such a delight to guess the right name of the chick. I really felt I was in the wrong field because I could be in the “Tell your furture” business and guess people’s name by just looking at them. See! But on a serious note it was an experience I will never forget. Now, the problem is I have forgotten her face but I know her name. The situation is reversed. But not to worry, I know the peoples name by just looking at them, don’t I?

8 Idiots....

[Start: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Saari umar hum coding try kartey rhey gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa…..

[End: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

(Guitar intro)

Saaari umar hum coding try kartey reh gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa. (x2)

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

Give me some thanda, give me some chai,
Give me another time-pass, coding fucked me once again. (x3)

[Start: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Papa ney career scope ka lalach dikhaya.
Bsc (IT) choose karkey saala mistake kar dala,

Joel Julian ney pada coding,
Uska kehna tha- coding is scoring.

Notepad mein padha C, C++, C-Sharp, Java.
Object Oriented programming ney pooora……poora booch mar dala.

[End: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Salary tho fuck all, appraisal bhi gaya,
Aaj bhi code, compile nahi ho paya. (x2)

[Guitar Lead]
[Piano Lead]

Saari umar hum coding try kartey rhey gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa…..

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

Give me some thanda, give me some chai,
Give me another time-pass, coding fucked me once again. (x3)

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

6:22

As the number suggests, this post is totally dedicated to the time where I had the best days of my lives. Killing the rules of English, I would rephrase it as the BESTEST days of my life. No prizes for guesses I’m talking about the college days of my life. It was after 2 long years I headed for my morning 6:22am local from Bhayandar. My dad was off to Mangalore for around 15 days. Due to dad’s knee problems, I had the task of being the “boodhapey ka chaa-deeh” for my dad. (Hope my dad does not read this, bahut swabhimani hai). It was 19th January, 2010 a Tuesday when I could relive the same moments, the same feelings come back to me like a bullet to the chest.

I remembered the chaos every morning as my sister and I had head strong clashes getting ready to catch the local. Whether it was for tea, breakfast, change for the rickshaw we fought it all. Now, it was just me and my dad getting ready. No clashes, no fights, no tease laughters. Man, how I miss those days! It was 6:00am in the morning as dad and I headed for the rick to the station. Usually during the flashback days, I used to be pretty reluctant to be awake as half my journey to the station was with closed eyes, but this time around I was enjoying every moment of the dark morning. Reliving it, truly reliving it.

We reached the station and looking like ghar ka raamu(no regrets) I headed to the platform where the 6:22am local halts. As I stood with my dad I saw students running for the train, some on the phone, some with their books, and some with big bags. I got into the usual compartment of my reliving days. There was no Stefan, no Sanjhot, no Elton or Chandresh. There wasn’t any Anil jumping into the train and speaking about how he kicked some Uncle’s ass as he got into the train. There was no Elton yelling at Anil’s comment- “Tera Baap”. There was no Lawzza waiting at Bandra. It was a moment where I realized things had changed. The whole scene was different; there were all new faces. I was missing my laughter sessions every morning. I was missing my college days. As the train came to Andheri, I helped my dad again to the airport with the bags. After a quick father-son handshake and good wishes, dad was off for Mangalore. I was alone as I headed back home. As I got into the train, I felt I had really relived my college days. Alone thou it was a journey I would never forget. The journey of 6:22.

Disclaimer: Sorry guys for stealing your copyrighted photographs.

Soap Opera - Mass Murder!

The new year has begun, but some things refused to change. Sometimes I feel the reason why we are still a developing country is because of this soap operas. Kitna bullshit re baba….kitna bullshit. At my place since its female dominated area, 1 ma do bahen (Sounds like a new show huh), ek baap ek calvin (another show), the majority is females. Apart from soft toys, flowers and men without beard (My goattie is no more :'() they also like…soap operas.
All who have the same family structure (like mine) or have really macho dominating mothers (not like mine) will understand what I’m talking about. Soap operas. I wonder what the female brain is made of. There is so much crying, so much of it in those serials, I feel suicidal. But, survival has also been a challenge so we all have to stand by it. However, here are the top 10 elements every Soap Opera has:-
1. Dada sa is above 100 years of age, but the reaper isn’t touching her. Problem for the ghar: Jaidath blocked.
2. Bhabhi ke peth main kisi aur ka bachaa: With a family spread out over 100 acres of land its quite a difficult task to find out bachey ka baap kaun. Again, searching crisis.
3. Shaadi in the family but dulhan loves somebody else: Wedding plans going on but dulhan has got some other plans. Naughty!
4. Maa baap ke bech darar: There is lot of tension between the parents. Kid doesn’t know what the hell is going on. The kid cannot connect to it. Reason? see point 2.
5. Tea never gets cold: If a tea session starts with some heavy duty family problem discussion the same goes on for two weeks. Wonder what the tea is made of? Wagh Bakri Chai?
6. Slow motion: Most of things happen in saas-bahu wala houses occur in slow motion. Effect, show goes for more than 100 episodes.
7. Background sounds: Just when the slow motion begins, so does the background sounds displaying awkward images of each family member, thrice.
8. Generation leap: When the tea starts to get cold…bang- Generation Leap.
9. Never say die: Whether its accident, shot at sight or a person going missing he/she will always be back when its better half is married and pregnant with the current better half’s child…SIGH!
10. Saint vs demon: Always the central theme. Calvin third law of soap opera: With ever saint in the family there is always a demon directly proportional to it.

Well, I was planning on writing another 10 but I realized that may kill my readers. So, aaj key liyeh itna hii. On ther other hand nice tv serials were stopped like Shakitman, Raja aur Rancho etc. Luckily CID is still going on- ‘Daya Darwaza tood doh’. Also, presenting some soap opera names- readers discretion is advised:-

1. Bhagyawidhata (Do not google it, computer crashes)
2. Naah aana is desh ladoo (Agreed, India is highly populated)
3. Agley janam mein mohay betiya hi keejooo (Damn! I thought sirf is jaman mein bhogatna padega)
4. Karol Bagh (Shouldn’t it be Carol?)
5. Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thee (Like we never knew….)

To add to our masculine misery there are advertisements followed which are like:-
1. Kal raat savdhani nahi barti (iPill)
2. Damn damam dam dam (Dove…)
3. Olay (My skin is aging….we don’t give a rat’s ass for that)
4. Toilet cleaner…(Always come when you are having your dinner or lunch, khaney ka maazza aa gaya)
5. Moods (Condom advertisement when the whole Indian family is around…embarrassing?)

So people I’m really fed up of soap operas…someone get back our old Shaktiman back or at least Raja aur rancho. If that looks tuff Mukesh Khanna’s Marshall will also do. But, jokes apart, we really need some good entertainment- good laugh with a family story always welcomed. Looking for 2010 to bring in some of that. Jai ho!