This time, after a good 4 weeks weak analysis, Dr. Train-Master-GoGo and I have finally finished my thesis on types of travellers. Dr. Train_Master-GoGo says, “Yes, they can be classified- broadly thou”. The limitation for this classification is that its sex dominated. Don’t get all naughty and spiced up you blonde-brains, I was talking about the gender.s
Ok, so after this trash talking, here’s the real deal- The travelling classification.
- Touch me not: This kind of species is found in every first class compartment. Whether its your bag, you belt, your earphones, your hand or even your strand of hair, this species is quick to react. They hate to be touched and react to any kind of contact with the outside world- physically. So, for now no zaara zaara touch me also.
Remedy for this species: Government we have ladies-gents then why touch-me-not coaches. Huh why?
Theme song for this species- Choona naah choona…paari hoo mai. - No balls; all eyeballs: These species are also in plenty. Whether you touch them or don’t they may stare at you with utmost aggression like kuch dino pehlay tuney uski izzat looth lit thi. They will stare at you when you are around, behind your back and also if you are ignoring them. If you look at them in the eye, half way you will realise you are increasing their aggression. But, tension not, they got balls only in the eyes.
Remedy for this species: Ignore them, else you got you fist, start using it. They won’t hit back, coz for that you need balls.
Theme song: Akiyon sey goli marey. - Door: Ek prem kahani: These species are highly attracted to the door. They will push a hundred and trample a hundred more just to reach the door and secure their position. Chal andhar chal…they may utter but it’s not for them. Here’s a piece of advise, practise what you preach brother.
Remedy for these species: Take their place. Try this only if you have a gang of four to take him down. They species are highly radioactive to fight.
Theme song: Darwaza band kar doooh….(shaking mullets in the back ground) - Raja Hindustani: Bright t-shirts, Rajnigandha- unchey loag unchi pasand, flashy embroidery jeans. Some of the evident features of these species. Can also be found with sunglasses in the evening in some extreme cases. Highly advised to stay away from the door, especially the ladies. They jokers tend to do hand symbols if they suppose to be in the opposite train. They try to hit pillars and signal post that pass by, but chicken out at the last moment. In some cases where the virus takes its toll, these species are found on roof tops of trains despite repeated advises not to go there. Considered to be the most psycho of all the species, they also sport spitting a bucket full of Rajnigandha every five minutes. Beware!
Remedy for these species: Wanted dead….immediately.
Theme song: Tum hogay kamyab…ek din…ek din… - Space Hawra: Very similar to the Door- Ek Prem kahani species, these species also do the same activities, except for the fact that they are fighting a different battle- the battle for seat. Yes, you heard it right, they want to sit. To achieve what they want they may ignore a female standing with a kid and show they are enjoying their returns of investment in the train pass. They are very possessive of their seat. In most cases these species are never happy even after acquiring the seat. They will crib and cry about the lack of space to sit. In some worst cases they make hand symbols to the man sitting at their favourite seat- the window seat to move further. Yes to move further.
Remedy: Never give them to sit. Never!
Theme Song: I wanna to sit right now naaa naaa…I wanna sit right now naaa naaa… - Call Centre: These species are very accustomed and they lives revolve closely around technology and communication. These always discuss stock market. Some young cases have also been witnesses. These victims talk about how much they love the other person on the phone. Post which they will text the same person. Also, sometimes may say- You hang up…no you hang you..no you.. in an endless loop. These species would not exist if there was no technology. I-Robot is coming true.
Remedy: Buy earphones and increase the volume on your ipods/music players.
Theme Song: Dikhtaa dikhtana dikhtana…dikh…dhik tana dikhtana dikha tana…Item tum khushiyon ka khazana..dhikh tana dhikh tana….. - Jiyo aur jiney do: The friendliest species found in the train. These species put the rest of the species to shame. They make sure others are comfortable and end up enjoying the comfort themselves. They do not enter into unwanted arguments or comment passing. They love their world and provide comfort to all. Strong believer of live and let live. In most cases species have displayed strong points of humanity existence. Bravo!
Remedy: Keep them safe They are the best.
Theme Song: Species tujhe salaam…species tujhe salam.
That's all folks. Hope you liked it ;)~
