For Today!

When I see you around,
I turn weak and my head spins round.

When you look at me with that smile,
Just to see it again, I would run a thousand mile.

And when you talk,
Man, I need a lip-lock.

And there are times when you get angry,
All I say in my head- I’m a pest, kiss me.

And when you turn shuttle and calm,
I wanna hold you tight never to cause any harm.

And every time we laugh together,
Time runs faster then ever.

Inside me I know, you will fly away some day,
I think again, wish I could make you stay.

The charm gone away, the love lost tomorrow,
But honey, there’s still sunshine, so lets smile for today.

Innocence!

I look into those eyes,
The eyes filled with a feeling I thirst for.

Running away from myself,
To turn myself into a better me.

I wait for a second,
I turn around and look at the eyes of power.

Cover with dust of bread and food,
He looks at me with a hope.

I got all I want,
I can buy me pleasure and comfort.

But, what he has I lack,
No money can buy me that, no riches can obtain it.

I hunger for what he owns,
I wish I could get it.

A humble face that looks at me,
Hope that looks never dying.

I don’t know how to compliment it.
Coz, in me breathes a world of guilt.

I take a step back to reassess my life,
I realise that I had it all, all of it I had.

Now just one glimpse of it makes me happy,
I hope it remains forever.

Yet again I look into the eyes,
To realise and smile looking at the eyes of innocence.

Classified Local Content!

Hi guys once again. Here’s another topic I’m going to write about and its once again going to relate to trains. Can’t help it folks, a pure source of inspiration and perspiration.

This time, after a good 4 weeks weak analysis, Dr. Train-Master-GoGo and I have finally finished my thesis on types of travellers. Dr. Train_Master-GoGo says, “Yes, they can be classified- broadly thou”. The limitation for this classification is that its sex dominated. Don’t get all naughty and spiced up you blonde-brains, I was talking about the gender.s

Ok, so after this trash talking, here’s the real deal- The travelling classification.

• Touch me not: This kind of species is found in every first class compartment. Whether its your bag, you belt, your earphones, your hand or even your strand of hair, this species is quick to react. They hate to be touched and react to any kind of contact with the outside world- physically. So, for now no zaara zaara touch me also.
  
  
  
  Remedy for this species: Government we have ladies-gents then why touch-me-not coaches. Huh why?
  Theme song for this species- Choona naah choona…paari hoo mai.




• No balls; all eyeballs: These species are also in plenty. Whether you touch them or don’t they may stare at you with utmost aggression like kuch dino pehlay tuney uski izzat looth lit thi. They will stare at you when you are around, behind your back and also if you are ignoring them. If you look at them in the eye, half way you will realise you are increasing their aggression. But, tension not, they got balls only in the eyes.
  
  
  Remedy for this species: Ignore them, else you got you fist, start using it. They won’t hit back, coz for that you need balls.
  Theme song: Akiyon sey goli marey.




• Door: Ek prem kahani: These species are highly attracted to the door. They will push a hundred and trample a hundred more just to reach the door and secure their position. Chal andhar chal…they may utter but it’s not for them. Here’s a piece of advise, practise what you preach brother.
  
  
  Remedy for these species: Take their place. Try this only if you have a gang of four to take him down. They species are highly radioactive to fight.
  Theme song: Darwaza band kar doooh….(shaking mullets in the back ground)




• Raja Hindustani: Bright t-shirts, Rajnigandha- unchey loag unchi pasand, flashy embroidery jeans. Some of the evident features of these species. Can also be found with sunglasses in the evening in some extreme cases. Highly advised to stay away from the door, especially the ladies. They jokers tend to do hand symbols if they suppose to be in the opposite train. They try to hit pillars and signal post that pass by, but chicken out at the last moment. In some cases where the virus takes its toll, these species are found on roof tops of trains despite repeated advises not to go there. Considered to be the most psycho of all the species, they also sport spitting a bucket full of Rajnigandha every five minutes. Beware!
  
  
  Remedy for these species: Wanted dead….immediately.
  Theme song: Tum hogay kamyab…ek din…ek din…




• Space Hawra: Very similar to the Door- Ek Prem kahani species, these species also do the same activities, except for the fact that they are fighting a different battle- the battle for seat. Yes, you heard it right, they want to sit. To achieve what they want they may ignore a female standing with a kid and show they are enjoying their returns of investment in the train pass. They are very possessive of their seat. In most cases these species are never happy even after acquiring the seat. They will crib and cry about the lack of space to sit. In some worst cases they make hand symbols to the man sitting at their favourite seat- the window seat to move further. Yes to move further.
  
  
  Remedy: Never give them to sit. Never!
  Theme Song: I wanna to sit right now naaa naaa…I wanna sit right now naaa naaa…





• Call Centre: These species are very accustomed and they lives revolve closely around technology and communication. These always discuss stock market. Some young cases have also been witnesses. These victims talk about how much they love the other person on the phone. Post which they will text the same person. Also, sometimes may say- You hang up…no you hang you..no you.. in an endless loop. These species would not exist if there was no technology. I-Robot is coming true.
  
  
  Remedy: Buy earphones and increase the volume on your ipods/music players.
  Theme Song: Dikhtaa dikhtana dikhtana…dikh…dhik tana dikhtana dikha tana…Item tum khushiyon ka khazana..dhikh tana dhikh tana…..




• Jiyo aur jiney do: The friendliest species found in the train. These species put the rest of the species to shame. They make sure others are comfortable and end up enjoying the comfort themselves. They do not enter into unwanted arguments or comment passing. They love their world and provide comfort to all. Strong believer of live and let live. In most cases species have displayed strong points of humanity existence. Bravo!
  
  
  Remedy: Keep them safe They are the best.
  Theme Song: Species tujhe salaam…species tujhe salam.

That's all folks. Hope you liked it ;)~

Yet!

We say we love God,
Yet we put out trust in man.

We say we love God,
Yet we worry about tomorrow.

We say we love God,
Yet we greed for money.

We say we love God,
Yet we fail to pray.

We say we love God,
Yet we lack faith.

We say we love God,
Yet we doubt HIM.

We say we love God,
Yet we do evil.

We say we love God,
Yet we cheat.

We say we love God,
Yet we stand ignored.

We say we love God,
Yet we destroy HIS creation.

But, even after so many hindered yet’s,
God says from above- Yet I love you.

Top 5!

Top 5 lies
5. I’m not drunk.
4. I will call you in sometime.
3. I’m not well.
2. I had bath.
1. I love you.



Top 5 ways to be a hip-hop artist
5. Wear big white sports shoes. Only white.
4. Pierce your ears and wear your mama’s diamond studs.
3. Add a ‘Yaw’, ‘dawg’, ‘shake that girl’ in one sentence twice or thrice.
2. Wear 3 kgs of junk jewellery.
1. Buy a ‘XXL’ t-shirt when your size is ‘S’.


Top 5 ways to get rid of your girlfriend
5. Call her for coffee and don’t show up.
4. Don’t laugh on her jokes.
3. Make her pay the bill- every time.
2. Call her to Virar in the evening by a local train and again don’t show up.
1. Abuse her father.


Top 5 things not to say on a date
5. Waaaaazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaup bitchhhh!
4. How old are you?
3. I can see your bra.
2. See, here’s my nude pic. You want it?
1. Your poonch is bigger than mine.


Top 5 ways to get into a Virar local
5. Get a ferocious dog- probably a Doberman.
4. Grow dreadlocks.
3. Go by handicap coach.
2. Scream Ramesh when the train just comes. 90% will look around even if their name is not Ramesh.
1. “Side! Side! Maachi paaani.”

Heart Gone By!

He sees her again. “Dude what do I do?” asks Vinay to San. San is quick to say, “Go for the kill, dudeeeeee.” The break began and as pre-planned, he ‘accidently’ stands in the path she walks everyday. “Hey, hi”, said Vinay. What triggered this conversation was courtesy Orkut friend request he had sent. After checking his Orkut account at a regular 5min interval for the last 48 hours he was happy to have got thru her friend request. Technically achieved, but the moment of truth was here. Though not on his hands, in his head he had his fingers crossed. Vinay was not sure if she would say a Hi or even recognise him, worst- “Excuse me who are you?” “Hey Hi”, she exclaimed with her bunch of gal-friends as he stood alone, though Vinay had San and Sharon eavesdropping on every word spoken. “I’m good how are you, which class are you in?” asked Vinay in utter innocence. Fact of the matter- he knew which class she was from, which bench she sat on, her gal-friends circle and even had tried to venture and get her roll-number. “I am in the graduation class”, said she. Thought cloud in Vinay’s head- “I know that sweetie, I love you”. Word cloud from Vinay’s mouth, “Oh ok. I’m from the graduation class as well, but from the IT section.” “That’s nice!” she exclaimed. “I gotta go my friends are kind of waiting.” She said to Vinay. Thought cloud in Vinay’s head, “Wish I had a time machine, I wana stop the time, NOW.” Mouth Cloud, “Oh sure. See ya around.” See yeah around- Vinay meant it like he had never meant it before. He turned around and was greeted with a success smile from Sharon and San saying “Which class are you from huh?” followed by a quick laugh. Vinay blushed!

It had been 9months since Vinay has spilled the beans proclaiming his love, just like a sound of a broken record. Despite the numerous fights and petty quarrels they had, Vinay thought they were going well. But, the change was evident amidst the small quarrels. He stood alone now. Really alone. No one was there to even eavesdrop on his conversation. There was no San; no Sharon. As it’s said, some battles have to be fought alone. But some battles refuse to seize. Some battles have to be fought everyday; right from the time you open your eyes till you close them at night or when you breathe your last. This is one battle Vinay has to fight. His weapons were his memories, but sometime his weakness too. His enemy was his friend, his friend was LOVE.


Note: All characters in this post are not fictitious, they are real. Many of them are you, who are reading this post. I don’t know if you are the Vinay in your story, but yeah we all face these situations. Also, this is not an anti-love or love sucks post. Don’t stop falling in love people because just like Vinay 9months or 9 years or 9 decades, it will always keep you happy, in reality or in the memory lane.

I am in LOVE.......

Yes I am in love. Many of my friends must feel I have said this a zillion times, but guys this time it’s different. It happened way back when I was just growing up. I seen her for the first time and I knew this was love. She is the one I want in my life. Her looks, they way she moves, they way she looks- all got me dazzled and dazed. There were times when I used to just think about her. There are times when I just think about her. I can stare at her all day long, as she does the same. That’s the beauty of her. She will never complain, she will never ask for reasons, she will take you where you want to go and be with you all thru your life. She has the power that no one of her genre have, she has the beauty and by the looks I can say just one word- HOT. She is the prettiest, the most pretty one I have ever comes across.
But, things will be difficult or rather are difficult. She is of princess status and I’m a stable boy. She is pricy and I- poor. She is from Bandra- Linking Road and I’m from Bhayandar- Uttan Road. I know this world says you can buy anything with a smile but her step-Uncle wanted cash and I had the smile. It was a mushy Sunday evening and the sun was heading to set and the moon shining bright. Perfect! I could not resist myself, so I went to her house. Her Uncle stood at the entrance and asked me, “Yes?” but I was looking at her, speechless!. She didn’t say a word. Why would she say? She was in a fix. Support me and her Uncle will beat the shit out of me. So, she was forced to support her Uncle who takes care of her everyday. “I want to.....(explicit content in next stanza)”, said I with a shivering mouth. “Sure”, he said. I touched her face. She had the same smile. Her beauty was evident from miles away. She was dark and I a racist, but yet the love was too strong for anything to come between us.
(Explicit Content begins here | Parental advisory text | Above 18 only)
I took her out of the house right in front of her Uncle, but he knew I would get her back safe. I touched her smooth back. She was silent; beautiful indeed. I was determined to ride her. I put it in. She was turned on. She roared like no one of that street. I got onto her; a little more tightly. She roared louder. We went thru the streets. All the while it was the man on top position. She didn’t mind; gentle lover I am. All the men envied me, even the ones committed. I felt her hand; her eyes shone bright. She was looking as beautiful as she could. I didn’t want to stop riding her. Her roaring, my pleasure- this is what life should be! She wanted me to take her home. Times change and it was time to get her back to her Uncle. She didn’t want to go for sure But, what could a stale boy do? I steered her back home, she said No again. Deep inside she cared for me, if I didn’t take her home it would be her step-uncle’s fist and my face. I gave her back; safe and sound. The brightness in here eyes was not there anymore. She was totally turned off. The servants took her to a corner and kept her. Silent she stood as always staring back at me and me at her.
It’s been more than 4 weeks now since I have seen her. I remember her even today. I remember all of it...all of it. I remember the day.........the beautiful day- the first time I took a test-ride of a Royal Enfield 350cc.....(tears drops....).


Moral of the story: Never take a test-ride if you can’t afford a bullet. Falling in love with the bike guaranteed and after effects- suicidal.

Sieze!

A thousand tears flow,
The ocean may be put to shame.

A mother searching for her son,
A sister carrying a charred body of her brother.

A lover standing alone,
A daughter without a father.

A pregnant women with no child,
A proud father with no pride.

A friend just round the corner,
Is he still there or has he disappeared.

Some bodies torn to pieces,
Some breathing without a limb.

Feel this is brutal; feel this is insane,
Look around and stop what we started.

War does not come from above,
They start here and end below.

End war and cries; End what we started,
And let’s start what we never started.

Killing Green!

A world running smoke and sound,
Burning woods and eliminating nature.

Looking like an achievement for mankind,
Infesting the same roots beneath.

Unaware we roar towards development,
Industrialization, chemicals and filth we produce.

Nature begs to save her but we fail to listen,
Her wrath when she unveils, we find it unjust.

We can’t see destruction, we can’t see suffering,
Yet we fail to understand the clear facts in metaphor.

A massive slaughter of nature, uncontrolled massacre,
Turning a blind eye to green and looking for gold.

Gold does fade to black; Green still remains the same.
Knowing the correct but still option for the incorrect.

Redeemers by birth, destroyers as we grow,
Called immature at birth or are we now?

Kaun Dum?

Kaun Dum. I’m sure most of you read this and stopped and said ‘Hai daiyaa’. Yes, we all do it. A taboo word. But, I do remember this word wasn’t used that often unless recently. With the increasing number of condom ad’s one needs to make sure to keep the remote in the hand while watching any family program- even cartoon network. Why?

It was 10:30pm and time for supper, nevertheless, time for Naa Aana Iss Desh Laddoah. (I don’t f**g know how its written! Spell check also does not work). After a lot of protest from my end to watch some better shit, majority decided to stick to Naa….Ladooah. So, the serial started. It was dumb, pre-dick-table, and definitely affected my taste buds. Soon, I was tamed when I realized it was the commercial break. We all had our hands colored with chicken curry and rice. All were glued to the TV even during the commercial break. And then the unthinking able happened.

One guy making out with a girl. Fantastic- just what I wanted to watch, but not with family. But, trust me guys this Moods ad was a boom to me. After all I could blog about it. When the advertisement flashed here are the reactions of my family members-

Dad- Stopped chewing his food. Eyes got bigger than ever. I could feel him saying- “My kids will get spoiled.” Kids aged: 21+. Spoiled?
Mom- Looking at the altar wondering where the world is heading. The end is near.
Elder Sister: Where is the remote? Where is the remote?
Elder Sister 2: Huh? What is this advertisement about?
Calvin: Once more! Once more!

But, my joy was short lived. The ad was over. Everybody was back to their normal mode. But, not for long. Why? Read this- “Kal raat savdhani nahi barti…” ROFL…iPill ad. So an advise for all my conservative family-wala friends. Keep the remote always in hand. You never know what this saas-bahu serials are turning us into. Till the next goof-up, here’s Calvin signing off.

Happiness

A feeling to live,
A feeling worth to die for.

A feeling we want,
A feeling for which we pursuit.

A feeling often short-lived,
A feeling we long for.

A feeling found in your mother,
A feeling found in your brother.

A feeling which cannot be bought,
A feeling which can always be given.

A feeling to smile,
A feeling that makes pain disappear.

A feeling that fails to see money,
A feeling that sees the heart.

A feeling coupled with peace and love,
A feeling I want to live in forever.

A feeling where I can be careless,
A feeling called..............Happiness.

The Lady...

As I walk the street,
Sits a lady in ragged clothes.

Nothing to give,
Accepting everything we give.

Quiet under her saree cover,
The only saree she has.

She does not know her future,
Her present also un-certain.

Manages to thank every time she receives,
A humble smile on her face.

People around her hurry for work,
With bruised fingers and battered clothes she sits.

As I walk towards her I feel a realization,
I feel life is so extraordinary.

Count the things I crib about,
Run out of numbers when I count the blessings.

I compare what I have,
I look at myself for a test.

A beautiful home, a table to fill,
Dad, mom and two darling sisters.

A circle of friends, who I can’t count,
But, who I can count on.

Luxury or need it’s fulfilled,
Monetary gains not, greed is not,

I look above, I thank HIM,
I see the mercy showered from above.

I reach home after a days of work.
Lay my head in a chilling environment.

I thank the Lord for the day,
I thank the Lord for HIS inspiration- The Lady.

HIM and I

Watching the moon,
Stars shine bright.

The darkness present,
The light stronger thou.

I’m a sinner, a destroyer,
But the Lord above shows His mercy.

The light in the darkness,
Displays His impartial love.

I have a friend,
I have a Savior.

A sacrifice so clear,
A sacrifice that cannot be compared.

A sacrifice a Father made,
A Son for His people, a son for a Mother.

On the cross hangs a Man,
Heavy with the sins of the world.

A journey that will live for ages,
A journey that washed me clean.

Can’t predict the future, the past was cruel,
But, the cross radiates His power.

I’m not a saint, I’m not a sinner,
Jesus, please accept me a slave.

Superheroes!

Superheroes?
Wondered the other day,

Walked a distance to find myself,
To solve this mystery I walked the streets…

As I walked down,
I seen a father taking his child to meet his grandpa…

As I walked down,
I seen a guy taking roses for his love….

As I walked down,
I seen a guy sharing his food with a stranger….

As I walked down,
I seen a friend cheer his pal to make him smile….

As I walked down,
I seen a mother rushing to get into the train to meet her kid….

As I walked down,
I saw a rich man giving alms to a beggar….

As I walked down,
I seen a stranger guiding another to a destination…..

As I walked down,
I seen a sister buying her brother a birthday gift….

As I walked down,
I seen a brother reconcile with his brother…

As I walked down,
I seen a guy heading for his first day at work…

I returned home,
I stayed and thought about the thought….

Superheroes? I said to myself……
Indeed they exist.

Aag!

Hey people, this is yet another fun post I could not stop myself from writing. This is all about how movies were in the 90’s. Recently, I got a wonderful opportunity to go to Baroda to conduct a training session. After a day long session, I headed to the hotel for some rest. This is where this post begins. Garam panni sey nahaney key baad, I switched on for some entertainment. Source: apna purana TV. After channel surfing and watching Aasta pey baba ka prawachan and PTC Punjabi pey thoda bhangra, I decided to settle for some prolonged entertainment.

Set Max, 90’s movie print, Govinda and Sonali Bendre. What else could I ask for? I knew I was in for some great entertainment. I became sure when the villain of the movie was Shakti Kapoor, (Aooooohhhhh!). Thou I started watching the movies half way thru, I could gauge what was happening. Hero ki ek behen, heroine ka ek bhai, ek corrupt horny inspector; no prizes for guessing apna Shakti Kapoor. Instead of describing the entire movie, I’ll tell you about a song fromm the movie.


Govinda whose name is Raju (How innovative!), Bendre whose name is Paroooo (ha ha ha ha), is liked by the lustful eyes of Shakti Kapoor (Surya Dev Singh). Bendre has an evil mama (uncle) who is called Mama through out the movie. He hates Bendre and her brother who is now dead. Confused? Me too yaar. So the scene is Bendre brother is dead and her Uncle is not supportive about taking the body home. Still wondering about the song where it can be placed? Keep reading, keep reading. He wants the morgue authorities to burn the body in the electricity ka bhatti. I was like WTF? Abey tu kya pagal ho gaya hai kya. But, with no time to waste, apna Raju lands at the morgue. Why? He has to save somebody who is already dead. But, apna Raju saves the day. He takes the body and Bendre too. Waaah! Macho haan.



Day 2. Shakti Kapoor is all pissed off with Govinda saving Bendre. But, Shakti Kapoor ek rapist hi nahi bakey ek corrupt police inspector bhi hai. So, all alone he reaches where apna Govinda and Bendre. Apna local couple studies in the same college. When Shakti is dragging Bendre, Boom! Raju all dressed in checked shirt, which has a purple t-shirt and a bunch of pals with mullets and high-rise pants and white Action sports shoes shows up. He pulls Paroo towards himself and Shakti Kapoor kay ahkoon key samney Paroo smooches, I repeat smooches Raju. Lucky little ba****d.

Can you guess what happens next? Song! Song! I was like ha ha ha ha ha. Abey ha ha ha ha. This was an extreme case scenario. Achanak song chalo. The lyrics go something like, “Jab majnoo merrey saath, tho bech mein kya karega karela?” Ha ha ha. The whole fuc**in song has such euphemistic statements. To add on, Raju’s mullet-ted friends danced all thru the song and backed him in mocking Shakti Kapoor. The whole sequence was so funny; I could not stop my ass of. To end this post, I must say, Govinda is the best. Reason he managed to get me hooked to the movie for more than half of it. Too good Raju.

What's Your Name?

The characters in this post are not fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely non-coincidental.

Hello folks. It’s been a while I have blogged, but I’m back again to share yet another goof-up. This has happened last year in the month of November. It was a time when I was looking for a break in Instructional Designing. And yes, dad there exists something called Instructional Designing. LOL.

It was morning 10am and I had to head for an interview to a company. Around 11am, armed with my resume, a blue cello techno tip pen, bag (more of a bag pack), blessings of my mommy and my dad still wondering what the hell is my son talking about I took the 11:10 am train from my place; Bhayandar. Around 12:00pm I reached andheri and after a battle with the rickshaw-wala’s I finally managed to get a rick for Seepz. I reached the venue as decided without any delay. I was made to go thru and hour long test and then made to further wait. It was the conference room of the company and along with me sat a girl. From her face I could make out she was a victim of the over-educated and unemployed phenomenon. She looked cute and on the qualification front she had definitely kicked my ass (an MCA grad). So, after a long unwanted silence I decided to speak. “Hi, what’s your name I asked?” She said, “ ”. You readers must be wondering why the blank space? Because the moment she said it, it was directly proportional to my 7seconds delay in the memory buffer of my head. In aam janta, language, I forgot. Yes, the very moment she said it. I don’t know how but I forgot. After a good 10-15 minutes there came a sentence where I had to take her name. Now, here’s the solution if it was a guy. If I don’t know a guys name, I substitute with DUDE. Even shove the word instead of repeating the guys name ova and ova again. I know the female word for the word Dude, but I can’t use it. It’s too freaking odd. What do I do? 3seconds had passed and it’s quite a delay if you are in a continuous conversation. I looked at her body language, her dressing sense, her accent and all I said was Aarti. I don’t know why, but that’s what my head told my tongue to say. And immediately I was like, “I’m a jackass”. For all those who wanted to call me a jackass, don’t get happy, Read the f**kin whole thing.

After answering a few questions from Aarti, (Still wondering why I’m addressing her that? Keep reading.) I was really petrified and wanted to know her real name. All this while thou I made sure I pronounced Aarti at a decibel lower than the other words of the sentence. Then came the HR coordinator and looking at me she asked Aarti. I still could not figure out why she called me by a chick’s name but I was even more petrified when she said Aarti. She must know her name. I was sure; she had her resume. Aarti your test is over and we will give you a call and get back to you. I was like, WTF? Her real name is Aarti? I could not believe my ears. I was really wondering if it was my ear buds that were slipping away. No, her real name was Aarti. It was such a delight to guess the right name of the chick. I really felt I was in the wrong field because I could be in the “Tell your furture” business and guess people’s name by just looking at them. See! But on a serious note it was an experience I will never forget. Now, the problem is I have forgotten her face but I know her name. The situation is reversed. But not to worry, I know the peoples name by just looking at them, don’t I?

8 Idiots....

[Start: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Saari umar hum coding try kartey rhey gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa…..

[End: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

(Guitar intro)

Saaari umar hum coding try kartey reh gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa. (x2)

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

Give me some thanda, give me some chai,
Give me another time-pass, coding fucked me once again. (x3)

[Start: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Papa ney career scope ka lalach dikhaya.
Bsc (IT) choose karkey saala mistake kar dala,

Joel Julian ney pada coding,
Uska kehna tha- coding is scoring.

Notepad mein padha C, C++, C-Sharp, Java.
Object Oriented programming ney pooora……poora booch mar dala.

[End: Calvin Sharman Joshi]

Salary tho fuck all, appraisal bhi gaya,
Aaj bhi code, compile nahi ho paya. (x2)

[Guitar Lead]
[Piano Lead]

Saari umar hum coding try kartey rhey gayeh
Ek code bhi aaj tak compile nahi huaa…..

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

Give me some thanda, give me some chai,
Give me another time-pass, coding fucked me once again. (x3)

Naaa naaaa naaa…naa naa naaaa naaa naa naaa….

6:22

As the number suggests, this post is totally dedicated to the time where I had the best days of my lives. Killing the rules of English, I would rephrase it as the BESTEST days of my life. No prizes for guesses I’m talking about the college days of my life. It was after 2 long years I headed for my morning 6:22am local from Bhayandar. My dad was off to Mangalore for around 15 days. Due to dad’s knee problems, I had the task of being the “boodhapey ka chaa-deeh” for my dad. (Hope my dad does not read this, bahut swabhimani hai). It was 19th January, 2010 a Tuesday when I could relive the same moments, the same feelings come back to me like a bullet to the chest.

I remembered the chaos every morning as my sister and I had head strong clashes getting ready to catch the local. Whether it was for tea, breakfast, change for the rickshaw we fought it all. Now, it was just me and my dad getting ready. No clashes, no fights, no tease laughters. Man, how I miss those days! It was 6:00am in the morning as dad and I headed for the rick to the station. Usually during the flashback days, I used to be pretty reluctant to be awake as half my journey to the station was with closed eyes, but this time around I was enjoying every moment of the dark morning. Reliving it, truly reliving it.

We reached the station and looking like ghar ka raamu(no regrets) I headed to the platform where the 6:22am local halts. As I stood with my dad I saw students running for the train, some on the phone, some with their books, and some with big bags. I got into the usual compartment of my reliving days. There was no Stefan, no Sanjhot, no Elton or Chandresh. There wasn’t any Anil jumping into the train and speaking about how he kicked some Uncle’s ass as he got into the train. There was no Elton yelling at Anil’s comment- “Tera Baap”. There was no Lawzza waiting at Bandra. It was a moment where I realized things had changed. The whole scene was different; there were all new faces. I was missing my laughter sessions every morning. I was missing my college days. As the train came to Andheri, I helped my dad again to the airport with the bags. After a quick father-son handshake and good wishes, dad was off for Mangalore. I was alone as I headed back home. As I got into the train, I felt I had really relived my college days. Alone thou it was a journey I would never forget. The journey of 6:22.

Disclaimer: Sorry guys for stealing your copyrighted photographs.

Soap Opera - Mass Murder!

The new year has begun, but some things refused to change. Sometimes I feel the reason why we are still a developing country is because of this soap operas. Kitna bullshit re baba….kitna bullshit. At my place since its female dominated area, 1 ma do bahen (Sounds like a new show huh), ek baap ek calvin (another show), the majority is females. Apart from soft toys, flowers and men without beard (My goattie is no more :'() they also like…soap operas.
All who have the same family structure (like mine) or have really macho dominating mothers (not like mine) will understand what I’m talking about. Soap operas. I wonder what the female brain is made of. There is so much crying, so much of it in those serials, I feel suicidal. But, survival has also been a challenge so we all have to stand by it. However, here are the top 10 elements every Soap Opera has:-
1. Dada sa is above 100 years of age, but the reaper isn’t touching her. Problem for the ghar: Jaidath blocked.
2. Bhabhi ke peth main kisi aur ka bachaa: With a family spread out over 100 acres of land its quite a difficult task to find out bachey ka baap kaun. Again, searching crisis.
3. Shaadi in the family but dulhan loves somebody else: Wedding plans going on but dulhan has got some other plans. Naughty!
4. Maa baap ke bech darar: There is lot of tension between the parents. Kid doesn’t know what the hell is going on. The kid cannot connect to it. Reason? see point 2.
5. Tea never gets cold: If a tea session starts with some heavy duty family problem discussion the same goes on for two weeks. Wonder what the tea is made of? Wagh Bakri Chai?
6. Slow motion: Most of things happen in saas-bahu wala houses occur in slow motion. Effect, show goes for more than 100 episodes.
7. Background sounds: Just when the slow motion begins, so does the background sounds displaying awkward images of each family member, thrice.
8. Generation leap: When the tea starts to get cold…bang- Generation Leap.
9. Never say die: Whether its accident, shot at sight or a person going missing he/she will always be back when its better half is married and pregnant with the current better half’s child…SIGH!
10. Saint vs demon: Always the central theme. Calvin third law of soap opera: With ever saint in the family there is always a demon directly proportional to it.

Well, I was planning on writing another 10 but I realized that may kill my readers. So, aaj key liyeh itna hii. On ther other hand nice tv serials were stopped like Shakitman, Raja aur Rancho etc. Luckily CID is still going on- ‘Daya Darwaza tood doh’. Also, presenting some soap opera names- readers discretion is advised:-

1. Bhagyawidhata (Do not google it, computer crashes)
2. Naah aana is desh ladoo (Agreed, India is highly populated)
3. Agley janam mein mohay betiya hi keejooo (Damn! I thought sirf is jaman mein bhogatna padega)
4. Karol Bagh (Shouldn’t it be Carol?)
5. Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thee (Like we never knew….)

To add to our masculine misery there are advertisements followed which are like:-
1. Kal raat savdhani nahi barti (iPill)
2. Damn damam dam dam (Dove…)
3. Olay (My skin is aging….we don’t give a rat’s ass for that)
4. Toilet cleaner…(Always come when you are having your dinner or lunch, khaney ka maazza aa gaya)
5. Moods (Condom advertisement when the whole Indian family is around…embarrassing?)

So people I’m really fed up of soap operas…someone get back our old Shaktiman back or at least Raja aur rancho. If that looks tuff Mukesh Khanna’s Marshall will also do. But, jokes apart, we really need some good entertainment- good laugh with a family story always welcomed. Looking for 2010 to bring in some of that. Jai ho!

2009 = Rolla-coster

Another year gone by but life continues to move. Looking back in time for the year 2009, I must say it has been one hell of a rollercoaster. Ups and down, joys and sorrows, laughs and regrets. Snapshots attached. The year started off on a great note but kind of went slipping away towards the end. But, all in all no worries, a great experience.


The year 2009 started off with my failure in CET. Phewww! Who passes that anyways? After some serious kickass mathematical calculation I didn’t make it. No issues, 2010 CET here I come. Then, came a great change that looked great. Change in job. A big lesson was learnt by me this year. Folks, you must have heard this a million times, but trust me on this one, “All that glitters is not gold.” After leaving a job at an MNC and getting through a small firm for good bucks, things didn’t really work out there. Probably, lack of judgment from my end or in other words, the imperfect timing. All in all- disastrous end. Wonder when’s the new start, year 2010 I’m counting on you.



Folks, you must be really wondering- Dude, where are the ups? The joys? The laughs? I guess, the pics speak out loud but yeah, there were instances where I could not stop living life to the fullest. Worked out in a gym for 9 months. Managed to get an average physique but now put on a little holiday weight. A little- I stress on it guys ;P~. Started my blog, went a couple of freinds weddings, made some amazing friend this year. Some bonds just got stronger. Not to forget to mention, some friends even made it to the “I Care” territory of Calvin’s buddy list. Names, here you go:-
1. The Directi Gang
4. The Patni Lunch Gang
5. The L10 Gang
6. My College Mafia ;)~

Hope I haven’t missed any. Yeah, even reconciled with my friend Rochelle. It nice to always say- F**k it re, whatsup buddy! Really felt light when I let all the aggression and a partial ego go off me. Got my 5th piercing done and feels great. However, that’s the end of it. Planning to get my bike, probably a Royal Enfield if cost constraints permit. Have been planning from 2008. Year 2010 you better be good.


Found my real interest and passion professionally- Instructional Designing. Apart from good moolah, this job comes with creativity, responsibility, and the greed to pass knowledge and information. What else can Calvin ask for? Looking forward to get a break thou. I know it’s just around the corner. (Biting nails). Even planning to be VJ, the other passion. Kismat counting Boss!

For the funny moments, went on a couple of dates, the end you must have guessed by now, Still Single. No regrets about that thou. But had some hilarious moments. Can’t reveal the details guys, you gotta respect your dates. Again some dates turned out to be in the buddy list. Nice!

All in all a great year to end, because:-

“The end of something is the beginning of something…..”