Soap Opera - Mass Murder!

The new year has begun, but some things refused to change. Sometimes I feel the reason why we are still a developing country is because of this soap operas. Kitna bullshit re baba….kitna bullshit. At my place since its female dominated area, 1 ma do bahen (Sounds like a new show huh), ek baap ek calvin (another show), the majority is females. Apart from soft toys, flowers and men without beard (My goattie is no more :'() they also like…soap operas.
All who have the same family structure (like mine) or have really macho dominating mothers (not like mine) will understand what I’m talking about. Soap operas. I wonder what the female brain is made of. There is so much crying, so much of it in those serials, I feel suicidal. But, survival has also been a challenge so we all have to stand by it. However, here are the top 10 elements every Soap Opera has:-
1. Dada sa is above 100 years of age, but the reaper isn’t touching her. Problem for the ghar: Jaidath blocked.
2. Bhabhi ke peth main kisi aur ka bachaa: With a family spread out over 100 acres of land its quite a difficult task to find out bachey ka baap kaun. Again, searching crisis.
3. Shaadi in the family but dulhan loves somebody else: Wedding plans going on but dulhan has got some other plans. Naughty!
4. Maa baap ke bech darar: There is lot of tension between the parents. Kid doesn’t know what the hell is going on. The kid cannot connect to it. Reason? see point 2.
5. Tea never gets cold: If a tea session starts with some heavy duty family problem discussion the same goes on for two weeks. Wonder what the tea is made of? Wagh Bakri Chai?
6. Slow motion: Most of things happen in saas-bahu wala houses occur in slow motion. Effect, show goes for more than 100 episodes.
7. Background sounds: Just when the slow motion begins, so does the background sounds displaying awkward images of each family member, thrice.
8. Generation leap: When the tea starts to get cold…bang- Generation Leap.
9. Never say die: Whether its accident, shot at sight or a person going missing he/she will always be back when its better half is married and pregnant with the current better half’s child…SIGH!
10. Saint vs demon: Always the central theme. Calvin third law of soap opera: With ever saint in the family there is always a demon directly proportional to it.

Well, I was planning on writing another 10 but I realized that may kill my readers. So, aaj key liyeh itna hii. On ther other hand nice tv serials were stopped like Shakitman, Raja aur Rancho etc. Luckily CID is still going on- ‘Daya Darwaza tood doh’. Also, presenting some soap opera names- readers discretion is advised:-

1. Bhagyawidhata (Do not google it, computer crashes)
2. Naah aana is desh ladoo (Agreed, India is highly populated)
3. Agley janam mein mohay betiya hi keejooo (Damn! I thought sirf is jaman mein bhogatna padega)
4. Karol Bagh (Shouldn’t it be Carol?)
5. Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thee (Like we never knew….)

To add to our masculine misery there are advertisements followed which are like:-
1. Kal raat savdhani nahi barti (iPill)
2. Damn damam dam dam (Dove…)
3. Olay (My skin is aging….we don’t give a rat’s ass for that)
4. Toilet cleaner…(Always come when you are having your dinner or lunch, khaney ka maazza aa gaya)
5. Moods (Condom advertisement when the whole Indian family is around…embarrassing?)

So people I’m really fed up of soap operas…someone get back our old Shaktiman back or at least Raja aur rancho. If that looks tuff Mukesh Khanna’s Marshall will also do. But, jokes apart, we really need some good entertainment- good laugh with a family story always welcomed. Looking for 2010 to bring in some of that. Jai ho!