Choices!

The tired eyes look for help,
There is no cure,

You can't lie to yourself,
You can't accept the truth.

As dreams shatter,
The healing fails to work.

Dreams remain dreams,
Reality brings cruelty.

You got no way to run,
The battle you must fight alone.

So what you waiting for soldier,
Take up and fight for life.

The battle not so easy,
Failure is what you define.

You can fight or fright,
The difference is huge; not just an alphabet.

Cry to death or smile at death.
The choice is for you to make.

3 Words!

No smiling face

The silent tears

The inflicting pain

My heads insane

The thoughts stop

The heart bleeds

The colors fade

The darkness certain

The present dark

The past bright

The wounds unearthed

Pain does increase

Continues to feed

As joy vanishes

The darkness descends

Waiting to end

Its just begun

Long journey heal

Or will it

Never wanna know

Facing facts difficult

Realities are harsh

The myth real

Love Story and the White Malfunction!

Statutory Warning:-
This is a family Blog so do not let the title get you boggled. Please do read. Glossary is available at the end of the page.

Yet another blog comes with experiences from the train. Guys, if you ever wonder about what to blog about, step up in the Virar locals and trust me you will get to write about the really first-time experiences of life. And the best part, you get a new story every time. Jai Virar. (No I’m not bias, I stay at Bhayandar).


After losing a game to bablee in TT and with 6th November, 2009 approaching things were not going on great in my life at this point in time. Whats the deal with 6th November? Trust me people, I will blog about it too. But, the worst was losing a game to bablee. Bablee! This name comes not from the type of nature she has, its something else. I bet the guys got this one and so did most of the girls. If you haven't got it, dont try googling it, it’s my jargon. Mwwwah Bablee. So, with all these falling behind I heading to the station to head to Nirvana (Home), Again, my jargon. It was a slow 9:57 local from Andheri. The same one I used to take after meeting my ex-gal. With so many sad things happening I could least expect what was going happen next.


The train entered Jogeshwari. I was on the door of the train hanging and listening to James Blunt. He couldn’t stop singing, “You’re beautiful its true…..blah blah blah!”. Honestly, that’s all you can understand when you listen to him unless you google the lyrics. Surprisingly, you will also figure out that he’s a male artist. Surprised! Me too. So, the female, I mean the male artist was singing the song and me was remembering the lovee-dovee days. Sob Sob. Terror stuck again. Romeo and Julie entered at Goregaon (It’s a place and not a village [ka, ka, ka]). The love drowning couple came and stood right next to me. James Blunt was quickly changed to Metallica. But, I guess all these James are alike. James this time couldn't stop yelling, “Sad but true”. Felt he was mocking me. To add to my misery, Romoe cloudn’t keep his hands of Juliet…Saala Thurkee. The whole compartment was enjoying the Love Story 2009. I wanted to say, dude, let her go by ladies that would be better. But, I guess they wanted attention and to mock people who have gone throu a break-up. Once again, saala thurkee.

After music stopped I started observing the couple, basically the chick. A feature among guys known as “Checking out!” So as I continued to check out the chick. Juliet, as I call her, looked like in her mid twenties and so did Romoe. Romeo quickly noticed someone was checking out his chick. Not my fault dude, she started it. May be it was my mustache look (Ahem ahem). He quickly put his arms around her to show possessiveness. I was like…Yeh right, as if I would get her…or would I (twisting my moustache, Senoritaaaaa!).


So with so much neglected love I stared out of the train and looking around I ended up looking at my beautiful shoes. Converse, red, non-anklets….sob they are beautiful. Suddenly, I seen some flashy leg next to me. White sandals, nice feet. I was like Juliet got good feet too. Nice choice of footwear. Suddenly, there was place to sit. I heard.”Chal darling! lets sit”. And the feet moved. No ways, nahi…no…this can’t be true. The feet I was talking about, that wasn’t her, it was him. Putting it simple it was Romoes leg. What the fuck was he wearing? White sandals, with a flowery design near the toe. What the fuck? Was it from the Lakme fashion week. Even if it was I bet it was for the chicks. I double checked to see if he was blind. Man! How can you choose such stuff. Luckily, the romeo-Juliet duet moved to their seat. Juliet decided to keep her head on Romeo’s head and complete the remaining journey.

I was left with some more Calvin laws added Calvin's Big Book of Laws:-
1. Always have a good playlist after you break-up
2. Checking others chicks is fun
3. Guys, white chappals! Sandals! Or whatever white footwear? What where you thinking? Sardar khush hoga? Sabaashee dega? Aaaaahhhh toooooo!
4. Always let your chick go but the ladies.
5. If you get your chicks in the gents, make sure your not standing next to a blogger.


Glossary:-
Loveee-Dovee: Make out and getting cuddly
Romeo-Juliet: Couple-Couple
Love Bird: Romeo-Juliet
Ka Ka Ka: Onomatopoeia for a sad joke

She :)~

A foundation so strong,
That existed right from my first B'day.

Will last forever till this life moves to death,
I don’t know it may even exist after I have gone away.

A relation that is the strongest
A relation that will never die.

I want it to live; I want it to survive,
Do not leave me Mom, I will always cry.

She is always there, ever to care me,
Whether I turn into a star, politician, or even a beggar.

She will always love me,
The radiant power she possesses.

When I face failure I run to her,
She calms my fears, and shows me the victory path.

When faced with victory I may forget her,
But, she always stands next to me with abundant blessings.

I will always love her, or will I cry,
But she says I love you my child with tears in her eyes.

I want to see her smile always and forever,
Even I face victory or no, I want to see her happy.

I don't know who laid this foundation,
This strong relationship that crosses all the storms.

Thank you God, says myself in tears,
But HE replies, "I sent you Her, because I couldn’t be always near."

The End or a New Beginning?

A sacrifice so difficult to make,
Hurt myself but I have to smile.

Letting go off things I need the most,
Yet I'm can't miss them, yet I can't have them.

Dissapointed I make my journey ahead,
Life and time stand still, but the feet move.

With a heavy and a broken heart,
The journey looks incompleted, the journey to complete.

Can't stop I've to move,
With a smile, yet without one.

Life feels numb, no feeling inside,
The only feeling left is pain.

I fall time and again, the number I can't count,
I get up again to fight a losing battle.

I try to be strong, I fight to be crude,
These wounds so deep fail to sieze.

Hurt and bleeding, wounded and alone,
I feel its the end or is it the beginning of Life.

Nikah! Wedding! Shaadi!

Time: 10:00 am, Activity: Brushing Teeth

It was an extremely pleasant day, the 15th of October, 2009. From the earlier day itself I was happy for my friend and class mate from college, Quaser. Kauser, as the world spells her name but for me Quaser was a great budd from the days where I choose the wrong career (IT) but the right friends. Some days back when I got the news of Quaser getting into Nikah with Abdul all the memories ran to my head of my college days with Quaser. I still remember running for xerox notes and borrowing her books for the same. Not to forget to mention Quaser’s “tell-it-a- it-is” attitude and the killer piercings. We still have battle going on for the most number of piercings. Till now the score stands at 8:4 :P~.


Time: 4:30pm Activity: Walking to Teddy's House
Time really ran quick today and I cold not stop thinking about the feast that was just hours away. Probably my brains could think was all about the mutton biryani. But, before that I had to meet my friends, my college budds at Motu Teddy’s place. Motu Teddy is this really sweet and funny girl who claims to be my girlfriend but also makes sure that she hits on every guy who looks better than me. So, its virtually all the guys. But, on a serious note, Motu Teddy a.k.a Sujatha is really sweet person, ready to help and definitely got a great sense of humor. So, all in all Perfect Buddy.

As I continued to walk towards Teddy’s place I was thrilled by the news that Vijeta and Renita were also at her place and we would be heading to the wedd together. The icing on the cake, I was even going to meet Mehernaz , another gem of a person from college. I reached Teddy’s house and was greeting by Vijeta (Gorgeous 1) followed by Teddy’s mom. Teddy’s mom was really sweet and it was just hardly less than a minute I was quick to realize that she had a vibrant and jovial personality. Keep it Aunty. Finally, entry was made by Renita (Gorgeous 2) Teddy (Gorgeous 3). So, with gorgeous 3 and myself we headed to Teddy’s car.


Time 7:30 Activity: Searching for Haj House
It was around 7:30 when we were busy discussing about the days we lived our life; college days and the present fucked up days we were living in; career making days. As we navigated our way towards Haj House, Tiwari (the driver) and I were carrying out a tresure hunt kinda search for Haj House. Finally, after several failed attempts a lady gave us extremely precise directions to haj House. Thanks lady whoever she was :P~. The entry was a little scary as the gorgeous 3 headed towards the ladies section to wish Quaser mommy and I stood stranded. I knew no one at that place. Pheeeww! But, I must say Quaser’s dad escorted me towards the main reception area and also made sure he spend some time and gave me company despite his busy schedule. All respects for that Uncle Liya.

Time: 9:00 Activity: Waiting for the bride to arrive



Quickly I was reunited with the gorgeous 3 and soon also with gorgeous 4. Yes, I’m talking about Mehernaz. She looked absolutely stunning in her green saree and her simple looks. Meher, if got pic of you on this day you could definitely use them for your matrimonial pics. So we all settled down and as a ritaul people headed for food. The mutton biryani and the tandoori were really tempting but I had to fight it to first see my budd Quaser. After a while Abdul and Quaser entered. Maa-Shaa-Alllah Imust say Quaser looked really beautiful in her saree and definitely the stunning dude Mr. Abdul. (Damn! Competition). The couple took their seats and now we could finally head for dinner.

Time: 9:45 Activity: D-N-D
Teddy, Renita, Vijeta and I sat for dinner as Mehernaz and her parents went for the vegetarian buffet. The food was absolutely delicious. Initially, we were served tandoori and salad, which was then followed by a huge loaf of bread and chicken curry and finally the main course, the mutton biryani. After a good 20minutes of enjoying the food we moved ahead to wishing Quaser. But, Food = Mind Blowing.

Time: 9:55 Activity: Wishing Quaser


After all the delicious and finger licking food we heading for the real purpose we came for the wedding. Wishing Quaser our best wishes. It was really a wonderful experience as we stood in line and watched the couple wish all their relatives wih them. As I stood there I was really amazed and only one thought came to my head, Marriages are made in heaven, and trust me reader, when we stepped on the stage and wished the couple this saying turned into a belief. I was really thrilled and amazed Quaser to see in the bridal wear and definitely the dashing Abdul. We handed over the gifts to the couple and wished some of her family member.

Time: 10:00 Activity: Wanting a time machine to go back in time
It was around 10:00 pm when we all decided to make move back home. It was not such a good thing coz as Calvin I hate when good things come to end. As we sat in the car we joked about how life changes after wedding. I was quick to ask who’s next in the line and Teddy says she’s next. Wishing you luck Teddy. Teddy made sure she dropped us at bandra station safe and sound. After catching a late train that day and dropping Renita home it was time for me to head home. But, all this while I had just one thing in mind, Marriages are truly made in heaven. It was indeed a wonderful site to see Quaser and Abdul. All I wish for this cute and dashing couple is loads of luck, success and good health in all the days to come in their life. Also, waiting for the who’s next moment to see who’s next in line :)

What to be?

Thoughts cross my head every single day,
Building my future that stands uncertain.

I wanna be big, I wanna be known,
I want fame and need to make a little money.

Sometimes I wanna be a Businessman,
Taking control and making money.

Sometimes I wanna be an Actor,
Pretending and being the best with fame all along the path.

Sometimes I wanna be a Manager,
Make my mommy and daddy fulfill their dreams.

Yesterday I wanted to be a Pilot,
Today I want to be a Soldier.

Last week it was a Drummer.
The week before that a Tattoo Artist.

Last month a corporate Avatar,
Before that a Professor.

New year resolution to be an Animation Artist,
Last years was to be a Software Engineer.

During the day I thought of getting into the Mafia,
By dawn I settle for a Cop.

I don't know what I will be, I don't know what I wanna be,
Wondering again as I close my eyes.

Thoughts put to sleep,
Thought closed for sleep.

Let's see what the day tomorrow has,
Definitely something new or may be just a Poet.

Love Delayed

As I walk the dark valley of life,
Tensed and scared; not knowing what's next.

You take my hand and calm me down,
I see your face and smile again.

The face I can't forget,
The eyes that strengthen me.

The face that helps me fight,
Even a losing battle I tend to Win.

Please don't leave my hand,
Please hold me tight.

I can't make it alone,
I can't go throu without you.

Be by my side,
Hold me tight once again.

You an Angel sent from the heavens,
To save a soul heading south.

You made me turn my steps,
A heart saved from trouble and chaos.

But, now you've gone,
You've left me alone.

I don't know what to do,
I don't know if I'll last.

Come back to me baby; it's never too late,
I'll be waiting for you right here, for your Love Delayed.